Train Hijinks

I took the train home from the city today. It wasn't a good idea.

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Dave and Osmo are standing on a crowded train station platform during the start of peak hour travel. After a minute a train pulls into the station.

Dave: Damn, the train is crowded.
Osmo Random (OR): Meh. It's not that bad. I've seen worse.
Dave: Okay. Okay. Let's go.

Dave and OR climb aboard the already crowded train carriage.

OR: You're right. It is pretty crowded.

The automatic doors of the train stay open for longer than usual. Suddenly, the train announcer makes an...announcement.

Train announcer (TA): Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
OR: DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN IT TO HELL!
Dave: That'd be right. Well what do we do now?
OR: I say we stick it out. It can't be that long of a delay.
Dave: Okay.

Dave and OR get as comfortable as they can surrounded by a flugen* of commuters. After a few minutes the Train Announcer makes another announcement.

TA: Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
Dave: What the hell does he mean by trespasser anyway?
OR: No idea.

Out of nowhere Rodriguez England appears to help out.

Rodriguez England (RE): Trespasser. Noun. One who enters or remains on the real property of another wrongfully or without the owner's or possessor's authority or consent.
Dave: Hey. Thanks Rodriguez.
RE: No problem. What are you guys doing here anyway.
OR: What does it look like?
RE: Taking the train somwhere?
OR: Correct. Now do you want to go on to the $10,000 question?
RE: I think I'm going to go now.
Dave: That might be a good idea. (Dave speaks to RE away from OR) I think he's a little bit pissed off.
RE: (To Dave) Yeah. I realised. I'll see you later.

RE exits. The beep of the automatic train doors is heard.

OR: HOORAAA!
Dave: Finally!

The highly crowded train slowly makes it's way out of the station. OR sniffs the air.

OR: Oh damn you all to hell! One of you just farted and who ever it was better own up to it.

Scene.
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*flugen - n. a group of humans that travel together.