I'm not ashamed to admit I'm writing this post whilst on the toilet.
I have often found the toilet to be extremely comfortable to read and/or write on. I believe this is because the toilet seat is designed with the utmost comfort in mind.
Comfort = Comfortable. It's that simple.
In Japan (among other places - I'm sure) they like to use electrically heated toilet seats. This makes for an even more comfortable experience as there is no need to use excess body heat to
raise the temperature of the seat to the same as the posterior.
Sometimes it is so cold that just thinking about the act of placing my naked behind on the cold ceramic throne makes me shiver in fright. However, these things must be done.
So on! In the name of human functions!
R.E
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
WHAAAT?
I'm back?
Are you sure?
No.
It can't be true.
Is this really happening?
Well...probably not, but, you know, I kind of missed this blog.
Blogging went through a phase: It was unheard of. It was heard of. It was used. It was abused. It was used by all and now, it is used by some. Some = me.
I'm sick. Cold-sick (for those of you that thought I meant Sick in the head-sick or throw up-sick).
I'll get over it.
I'm planning on traveling ALL around the world next year. It will be my 'maturation holiday'.
That is all.
D.S
Are you sure?
No.
It can't be true.
Is this really happening?
Well...probably not, but, you know, I kind of missed this blog.
Blogging went through a phase: It was unheard of. It was heard of. It was used. It was abused. It was used by all and now, it is used by some. Some = me.
I'm sick. Cold-sick (for those of you that thought I meant Sick in the head-sick or throw up-sick).
I'll get over it.
I'm planning on traveling ALL around the world next year. It will be my 'maturation holiday'.
That is all.
D.S
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Tram Hijinks - Part 2
So today I'm waiting for the number 72 tram again. I arrive at 9:07. The tram is scheduled to arrive at 9:10. 9:10 passes. The next tram is scheduled to arrive at 9:19. 9:19 passes. I decide to ring the Metlink Information line to see if there's going to be an even longer delay. The conversation went something like this:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recorded Message: All our operators are currently busy. Your call will be answered shortly.
30 seconds pass
Phone Operator (P.O): Hello. Metlink. This is [Insert indescipherable name here]. How may I help you?
Me: Hi. I've been waiting for the number 72 tram to Melbourne University for about 20 minutes and I'm just wondering if you know if there's been an accident or something that's delaying the tram?
P.O: No. There's nothing that I know of. I'll just check though.
Checking sounds
P.O: Oh. Yeah. There's a [insert indescipherable object here] blocking the trams. They've said it should take about 20 minutes to clear and that was 15 minutes ago. So there should be a tram in 5 minutes. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah. That's fine. Thanks.
Hang Up
---------------------------------------------------------------
Alternative Ending:
P.O: Oh. Yeah. There's a [insert indescipherable object here] blocking the trams. They've said it should take about 20 minutes to clear and that was 15 minutes ago. So there should be a tram in 5 minutes. Is that okay?
Me: No. It's not really okay. I mean, I'm going to be late, not that it matters. Plus, I've been sitting on this bench for about 20 minutes. It was lucky I have a portable music player otherwise I'd probably be asking for a bit more from you; perhaps some kind of "We're so sorry about the problems we've been having with our system. Here, have a life-time Zone 1,2 & 3 ticket" apology gift.
O.R.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recorded Message: All our operators are currently busy. Your call will be answered shortly.
30 seconds pass
Phone Operator (P.O): Hello. Metlink. This is [Insert indescipherable name here]. How may I help you?
Me: Hi. I've been waiting for the number 72 tram to Melbourne University for about 20 minutes and I'm just wondering if you know if there's been an accident or something that's delaying the tram?
P.O: No. There's nothing that I know of. I'll just check though.
Checking sounds
P.O: Oh. Yeah. There's a [insert indescipherable object here] blocking the trams. They've said it should take about 20 minutes to clear and that was 15 minutes ago. So there should be a tram in 5 minutes. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah. That's fine. Thanks.
Hang Up
---------------------------------------------------------------
Alternative Ending:
P.O: Oh. Yeah. There's a [insert indescipherable object here] blocking the trams. They've said it should take about 20 minutes to clear and that was 15 minutes ago. So there should be a tram in 5 minutes. Is that okay?
Me: No. It's not really okay. I mean, I'm going to be late, not that it matters. Plus, I've been sitting on this bench for about 20 minutes. It was lucky I have a portable music player otherwise I'd probably be asking for a bit more from you; perhaps some kind of "We're so sorry about the problems we've been having with our system. Here, have a life-time Zone 1,2 & 3 ticket" apology gift.
O.R.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Tram Hijinks
Question: What is wrong with Victoria's public transport system?
Answer: I don't know, but I'm trying to find out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(refer to Train Hijinks, particularly the farting incident.)
The number 72 tram is running late which, suprisingly, is abnormal. It finally comes and due to it's delay it is quite full already. Not just: "Oh, I won't get a seat" full or "Wow! I'm standing pretty close to this guy" full, but "Sorry for placing the entire front of my body against the entire back of your body" full (also known as 'Bulging Door Syndrome').
So I squeeze in. The doors close. The tram starts to move, and low and behold (I don't even understand that saying) I smell the familiar scent of brown gas.
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
O.R.
Answer: I don't know, but I'm trying to find out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(refer to Train Hijinks, particularly the farting incident.)
The number 72 tram is running late which, suprisingly, is abnormal. It finally comes and due to it's delay it is quite full already. Not just: "Oh, I won't get a seat" full or "Wow! I'm standing pretty close to this guy" full, but "Sorry for placing the entire front of my body against the entire back of your body" full (also known as 'Bulging Door Syndrome').
So I squeeze in. The doors close. The tram starts to move, and low and behold (I don't even understand that saying) I smell the familiar scent of brown gas.
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
O.R.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Answers
Nowhere.
Right here.
Not much really.
A mixture of lack of time and lack of energy.
Melt equal quantities of good quality chocolate and cream. Arrange a selection of fruit (strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit and banana work well) on a platter. Everyone skewers a piece of fruit and dips it into the melted chocolate. Chocolate can be kept warm in a slow cooker (crockpot), double boiler on a portable gas cooker at the table or fondue set (available at cookware and homewares stores).
A cactus.
O.R.
Right here.
Not much really.
A mixture of lack of time and lack of energy.
Melt equal quantities of good quality chocolate and cream. Arrange a selection of fruit (strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit and banana work well) on a platter. Everyone skewers a piece of fruit and dips it into the melted chocolate. Chocolate can be kept warm in a slow cooker (crockpot), double boiler on a portable gas cooker at the table or fondue set (available at cookware and homewares stores).
A cactus.
O.R.
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