Question: What is wrong with Victoria's public transport system?
Answer: I don't know, but I'm trying to find out.
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(refer to Train Hijinks, particularly the farting incident.)
The number 72 tram is running late which, suprisingly, is abnormal. It finally comes and due to it's delay it is quite full already. Not just: "Oh, I won't get a seat" full or "Wow! I'm standing pretty close to this guy" full, but "Sorry for placing the entire front of my body against the entire back of your body" full (also known as 'Bulging Door Syndrome').
So I squeeze in. The doors close. The tram starts to move, and low and behold (I don't even understand that saying) I smell the familiar scent of brown gas.
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
O.R.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Answers
Nowhere.
Right here.
Not much really.
A mixture of lack of time and lack of energy.
Melt equal quantities of good quality chocolate and cream. Arrange a selection of fruit (strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit and banana work well) on a platter. Everyone skewers a piece of fruit and dips it into the melted chocolate. Chocolate can be kept warm in a slow cooker (crockpot), double boiler on a portable gas cooker at the table or fondue set (available at cookware and homewares stores).
A cactus.
O.R.
Right here.
Not much really.
A mixture of lack of time and lack of energy.
Melt equal quantities of good quality chocolate and cream. Arrange a selection of fruit (strawberries, pineapple, kiwi fruit and banana work well) on a platter. Everyone skewers a piece of fruit and dips it into the melted chocolate. Chocolate can be kept warm in a slow cooker (crockpot), double boiler on a portable gas cooker at the table or fondue set (available at cookware and homewares stores).
A cactus.
O.R.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Questions
Where has Osmo gone?
Where has Osmo been?
What has Osmo been doing?
How come Osmo hasn't posted on his blog in...what seems like an eternity to some?
What is a great recipe for Chocolate Fondue?
These questions and more will be answered shortly...
O.R.
Where has Osmo been?
What has Osmo been doing?
How come Osmo hasn't posted on his blog in...what seems like an eternity to some?
What is a great recipe for Chocolate Fondue?
These questions and more will be answered shortly...
O.R.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Train Hijinks
I took the train home from the city today. It wasn't a good idea.
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Dave and Osmo are standing on a crowded train station platform during the start of peak hour travel. After a minute a train pulls into the station.
Dave: Damn, the train is crowded.
Osmo Random (OR): Meh. It's not that bad. I've seen worse.
Dave: Okay. Okay. Let's go.
Dave and OR climb aboard the already crowded train carriage.
OR: You're right. It is pretty crowded.
The automatic doors of the train stay open for longer than usual. Suddenly, the train announcer makes an...announcement.
Train announcer (TA): Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
OR: DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN IT TO HELL!
Dave: That'd be right. Well what do we do now?
OR: I say we stick it out. It can't be that long of a delay.
Dave: Okay.
Dave and OR get as comfortable as they can surrounded by a flugen* of commuters. After a few minutes the Train Announcer makes another announcement.
TA: Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
Dave: What the hell does he mean by trespasser anyway?
OR: No idea.
Out of nowhere Rodriguez England appears to help out.
Rodriguez England (RE): Trespasser. Noun. One who enters or remains on the real property of another wrongfully or without the owner's or possessor's authority or consent.
Dave: Hey. Thanks Rodriguez.
RE: No problem. What are you guys doing here anyway.
OR: What does it look like?
RE: Taking the train somwhere?
OR: Correct. Now do you want to go on to the $10,000 question?
RE: I think I'm going to go now.
Dave: That might be a good idea. (Dave speaks to RE away from OR) I think he's a little bit pissed off.
RE: (To Dave) Yeah. I realised. I'll see you later.
RE exits. The beep of the automatic train doors is heard.
OR: HOORAAA!
Dave: Finally!
The highly crowded train slowly makes it's way out of the station. OR sniffs the air.
OR: Oh damn you all to hell! One of you just farted and who ever it was better own up to it.
Scene.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*flugen - n. a group of humans that travel together.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave and Osmo are standing on a crowded train station platform during the start of peak hour travel. After a minute a train pulls into the station.
Dave: Damn, the train is crowded.
Osmo Random (OR): Meh. It's not that bad. I've seen worse.
Dave: Okay. Okay. Let's go.
Dave and OR climb aboard the already crowded train carriage.
OR: You're right. It is pretty crowded.
The automatic doors of the train stay open for longer than usual. Suddenly, the train announcer makes an...announcement.
Train announcer (TA): Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
OR: DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! DAMN IT TO HELL!
Dave: That'd be right. Well what do we do now?
OR: I say we stick it out. It can't be that long of a delay.
Dave: Okay.
Dave and OR get as comfortable as they can surrounded by a flugen* of commuters. After a few minutes the Train Announcer makes another announcement.
TA: Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a trespasser between South Yarra and Caulfield stations the train on platform 2 will be staying at Parliment station until further notice.
Dave: What the hell does he mean by trespasser anyway?
OR: No idea.
Out of nowhere Rodriguez England appears to help out.
Rodriguez England (RE): Trespasser. Noun. One who enters or remains on the real property of another wrongfully or without the owner's or possessor's authority or consent.
Dave: Hey. Thanks Rodriguez.
RE: No problem. What are you guys doing here anyway.
OR: What does it look like?
RE: Taking the train somwhere?
OR: Correct. Now do you want to go on to the $10,000 question?
RE: I think I'm going to go now.
Dave: That might be a good idea. (Dave speaks to RE away from OR) I think he's a little bit pissed off.
RE: (To Dave) Yeah. I realised. I'll see you later.
RE exits. The beep of the automatic train doors is heard.
OR: HOORAAA!
Dave: Finally!
The highly crowded train slowly makes it's way out of the station. OR sniffs the air.
OR: Oh damn you all to hell! One of you just farted and who ever it was better own up to it.
Scene.
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*flugen - n. a group of humans that travel together.
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